Adulthood. Kinda sneaks up on you when you're not paying attention, doesn't it? One minute you have no responsibilities. The next minute, bills are stacking up, one kid needs braces, the other is starting school, and you're working constantly just to make ends meet. Yes, adulthood is one sneaky bastard. How do you know that you're an "adult"? I'm still not totally convinced that I'm a "grownup". In fact, I KNOW that I'm not. I still can't help but giggle or smirk (or, at the very least, think to myself, "That's what she said") whenever anything remotely sexual is said. Even if it wasn't used in a sexual definition, my brain suddenly turns into an 11 year old's and warps it so it sounds dirty. I basically turn about half of what I hear in commercials into double entendres. I REFUSE to share my toys/comics/video games...even with my own children. "You can look, but DO NOT TOUCH!!" My son wants to play with my Darth Vader action figure? No sir. You can have your own, but don't go messing with mommy's toys! (They're actually collectibles, but that's beside the point.) You want to read my comic pulls from this week? Absolutely not! I'm more than willing to pick you up a few issues for you to read though. No you can't play on my PS3!! You have a 360 all for yourself (or WiiU...depends on which of my sons is asking)! Why do you need to use mine? That being said, I play with my kids' toys ALL THE TIME! I will ABSOLUTELY dress up like comic characters for no reason at all. While dressed up, I totally become that character also. My idea of what "fun" is hasn't really changed too much since I was about 12 years old. "You want to dress all in black and run around the neighborhood playing manhunt? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP FOR THAT!!" (As long as I can get drunk first. Makes it more fun!) I still suck at committed relationships. I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm not afraid of falling in love. I just totally suck at relationships. It's not that I don't put effort into them. I totally do! A LOT of effort actually. I just am terrible when it comes to longer term relationships. I wind up freaking out and breaking it off most of the time. Why? I honestly have not a single clue. That being said... I don't mind being single either. No one has to try and conform me the their perfect girlfriend (which is good because I am FAR from perfect). When I'm single I don't really have to answer to anyone, and I do really like that aspect of being single. I will blow off work and other engagements to go to a punk show. Who's playing? WHO CARES!! A show's a show. Silly things make me SO happy! I will (and have) completely lost my mind because someone picked up a Lego Storm Trooper keychain light. Seriously. That little thing made me so happy for the longest time. I've been lucky enough to find people who are just as screwed up as I am...and I LOVE YOU GUYS!! There are so many reasons as to why I don't believe that I'm a "grownup"...at least in my brain. What really defines being grown up? If you know, let me know. This is information that I need. I HAVE TO HAVE IT!! That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, or eat ramen noodles, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just want to discuss the possibility that unicorns exist! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not. I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! Tweet me: http://www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Facebook me: http://www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick Instagram me: http://instagram.com/nytatt2chick YouTube me: http://www.youtube.com/therealnytatt2chick G+ me: https://plus.google.com/+LauraCeruti Email me:
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I'm single, so I don't think I can muster up the energy to give a single fuck about the fact that today is Valentine's Day. Wait....let me try....................... Nope. 0 fucks given. I know that I'm definitely not the only one who's single. Far from it. This isn't really about the people who are single and are fine with it (like myself). This is about those people who are so desperate to smash ANYONE, simply because it's Valentine's day. Maybe they want to drown their sorrows in alcohol induced hookups, and the sweat of shame that comes with said hookups. I've been there. I'm not judging you. I'm not here to tell you not to go and pick up that generic bar slut, take him or her (or both, you little freak!) to your car/hotel room/house, and engage in self pity sex. If you want to do that, GO AHEAD! JUST BE SAFE ABOUT IT! Enough seriousness. Just remember these fun little poems I wrote this morning, and you won't wake up the next morning having to plan your frenzied dash to the walk in clinic. Yeah, I know that most of these are directed at males...but ladies, take the same advise. You don't want to be locked down with some random dude for 18+ years simply because you didn't want to use protection (or he didn't want to use protection...) So, be safe! WRAP IT UP! That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, hump a splintered piece of balsa wood, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just want to discuss the possibility that unicorns exist! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not. I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! Tweet me: http://www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Facebook me: http://www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick Instagram me: http://instagram.com/nytatt2chick YouTube me: http://www.youtube.com/therealnytatt2chick G+ me: https://plus.google.com/+LauraCeruti Email me: I just learned an interesting fact: Our sun is NOT actually yellow (or red, or orange!). It actually burns a white, which only appears to be yellow, blue-green color, or other colors, because of the distortion caused by our atmosphere. NASA actually recolors the sun in photos, because that's what we're used to seeing. **FUN FACT** The sun's rays dispersed through the atmosphere is actually why our sky appears blue! ANNNNYYYYYWWWWAAAAYY! Back to my original train of thought. So Superman (allegedly) gets his powers from our yellow sun, correct? (Of course it's correct...what? ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME?!) Well, Superman...IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!!! Well...it's not, it's Kal-El, and also Sups, we all know you're Clark Kent. Sorry to burst your bubble, but glasses + curl does not = a convincing disguise. You CLAIM to get your power from our "yellow sun"...which I've already shit on that theory. Considering the fact that you have exited the Earth's atmosphere several times (even went INTO the sun on at least one occasion), you KNOW that our sun is NOT yellow, rather a blue/green color. So, Superman/Clark Kent/Kal-El...you, sir, are a PHONY!! A BIG FAT PHONY!!! You get no powers from our sun at all! (Neither does Zog...) **MY CONCLUSION** Superman suffered a TBI when his spaceship crashed into Smallville, and all of his "heroic exploits" have been nothing more than the delirious hallucinations of an alien life form locked away in a secret government base. (This would include any and all interactions with other REAL members of TJLA, and/or various super villains.) SUCK ON THAT, SUPERMAN! That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, or shoot ramen noodles out of your nose, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just want to discuss the possibility that unicorns exist! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not. I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! xoxoxo Laura Tweet me: http://www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Facebook me: http://www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick Instagram me: http://instagram.com/nytatt2chick YouTube me: http://www.youtube.com/therealnytatt2chick G+ me: https://plus.google.com/+LauraCeruti Email me: Just in case you didn't believe me: http://www.universetoday.com/18689/color-of-the-sun/ Yep. Superman is living a lie...maybe that's why he's so hard to kill! *If you die in your dreams, you die in real life!* So a couple days ago I kinda went off and posted a ton of "Annoying Facebook Status" types on my Facebook. If you've already read them, they're not new to you, but if you haven't, I hope you can relate and get a little giggle out of them. That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, or eat ramen noodles, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just want to discuss the possibility that unicorns exist! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not. I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! Tweet me: http://www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Facebook me: http://www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick Instagram me: http://instagram.com/nytatt2chick YouTube me: http://www.youtube.com/therealnytatt2chick G+ me: https://plus.google.com/104204766948735523107 Email me: Someone mentioned that there hasn't been any "THE FUCKING WORLD'S GONNA END!!!" theroies recently. As a survivor of Y2K & 12/12/12 (and the shit ton of other "doomsdays" we've lived through) I find it troubling that everyone isn't convinced that humanity is going to collapse upon itself this year. I mean, come on...every other year had one, right? So we're just going to leave 2013 out of it? The world's not going to end this year? WRONG!!!!! That's just not fair to 2013. Look at it. All lonely and with no fanatics freaking out that we're all going to die tomorrow. IT'S A GODDAMN SHAME! So, I came up with an "end of the world day" for this year...you know, so it wouldn't feel left out. (Poor 2013) Everyone will be forced to buy the Xbox One over the PS4 due to a rash of explosions at Sony's factories/warehouses causing mass suicides, and homicidal fits of rage. Blood will pour into the streets. Millions dead. Bounty hunters will hunt down Bill Gates and string him up in Times Square. Steve Jobs will arise from the dead and release the iPhone 5s, 6, & 6s over a span of only three months, causing the survivors of the Xbox massacre to wreak havoc all over the world because they had just bought the new one, and now there's another one out that has a single new feature that the previous version didn't have. Rioting and looting will become increasingly common, as billions line up at Apple stores to get the latest version, but the stores are only receiving deliveries of 1,000 phones. Hipsters will switch back to Nokia flip phones, and the reanimated corpse of Steve Jobs will hunt them down and feast on their flesh. Once bitten, they too will become a "Jombie" (a zombie Steve Jobs). Their need for constant mindless apps, and pointless conversations with Siri will attract them to anyone who has an Apple product, and they shall be turned as well. Billions are dead, millions are obsessively playing Candy Crush (or hunting down people with an iPhone/iPad so they can upload selfies to Instagram). The handful of survivors will be forced to find refuge in remote locations, and go mad from a total lack of technology. They will brave the infested zones in a futile attempt to locate a PC to update their Facebook status. Mark Zuckerburg will eventually hit a kill switch, removing any trace that Facebook ever existed, causing more suicides. The people who don't kill themselves, will massacre each other in a bloody war know only as the Interaction. It will be brought on by the lack of ability to express speech or emotion without utilizing pokes, likes, and status updates. Gyms and restaurants will be burned, as no one can check into them anymore, so they prove useless. After 16 months of war, someone will remember that there is still MySpace, and the treaty of the Friends List will be signed, restoring peace. People will then realize that they no longer have access to Apple's IOS system, and the cloud will delete everyone's data. People will be forces to use only Android powered devices. This causes the great Android Plague. Those who are using the Android systems, will go insane by its lack of speed & ad-free apps. They will have to be put down as to not spread the disease to the half million uninfected survivors. And that, my friend, is how humanity will fall. We only have until 11/12/13. It can be prevented...but as of yet, no steps have been taken. Find me on: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Instagram: http://instagram.com/nytatt2chick YouTube: http//www.youtube.com/therealnytatt2chick Google+: https://plus.google.com/app/basic/104204766948735523107?gpsrc=gpmobile:ios&partnerid=gpmobile:ios&source=apppromo Email: |
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