To all apprentice hopefuls & kitchen wizards:
If you are seriously trying to get into this industry because it's "easy work", and "fast money"...I've got news for you, dumbasses. First of all, IT IS NOT EASY!! When you are a LEGITIMATE tattoo artist, you are not ONLY an artist. You need to do MANY different jobs. Once you begin a consultation with a client, you have now become a MIND READER. You have to basically take what they have in their mind, get the image into your head, and turn it into a "tattoo friendly" piece, that will look right on their body contours, and (if it's a coverup), how to use the right coloring and shading techniques in order to eliminate the existing tattoo. Now that they've magically beamed the image they want into your head, it's time for you to, maybe, do a little research, and get to drawing. THIS DOES NOT MEAN TRACING ANOTHER ARTIST'S CUSTOM TATTOO WORK!!! The ONLY TIMES that it is acceptable to trace something is when: A- It's a flash piece B- It's a portrait/photo realism piece. (And this should be traced ONLY from copies of photos...not other artist's work) C- It's in a sketchbook, that you have purchased (or your coworker, client, etc.), where there are no disclaimers in said sketchbook to NOT RECREATE the work done within. D- You have obtained WRITTEN CONSENT by the original artist to use his/her work. ANYTHING ELSE IS TATTOO THEFT, AND YOU COULD BE SUBJECT TO A LAWSUIT, DUE TO COPYRIGHT LAWS. Or, at the very least, be subject to ridicule, and basically blackballed by the tattoo community. It's always better to draw your own pieces. If you cannot do this...you probably should just stop tattooing right now. You NEED to have a strong drawing background in order to become a good tattooist. Ok, so now you've got your (hopefully) original piece drawn up. Time to show it to your client. If your client loves it, and is good to go, THAT'S GREAT! But, you should probably prepare yourself for a very heavy critique, and numerous explanations as to why some things don't transfer well to tattoos, how some things won't hold up well over time, how "adding something" could make it look too busy/cluttered, why certain parts are necessary to cover up the older piece (if it's a cover up), and you may need to redraw the piece (if your client requests you to do so). Do NOT catch an attitude, or treat your client like they are annoying you, or like they're bothering you. It's your JOB to create a physical reproduction of what they have envisioned in their mind! (unless they're giving you free reign) So STOP WITH THE ATTITUDE, BUDDY! Remember, you're tattooing it, but they will have it on their skin for the rest of their lives. That being said...in this profession, THE CLIENT IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!! Yes, they have to be happy with the tattoo you create for them, but most clients don't really understand what makes a great tattoo, or what will make a tattoo stand the test of time. This isn't because they're "stupid"...it's because they're not a tattooist! It's your JOB to explain why certain things won't work. It's your JOB not to trace the picture they brought you from Google...but to draw something similar, and with your own style!! So, again...don't catch an attitude. So now your finally going to tattoo your client. This is the easy part, right? WRONG!! For those of you reading this who DO tattoo, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about here. First of all, if your client's an asshole, be ready to slap a fake smile on your face for a couple hours, because you will have to deal with them the entire time you're tattooing them (duh...it's not like they can leave their arm/leg/whatever behind, so you can work on it, and come and pick it up later!). I've been pretty lucky so far. The majority of my clients are friggin awesome. If you're not a "people person", or you're super shy, or YOU'RE an asshole, or anything like that...don't even think about taking up tattooing. It's not for you. You have to deal with every type of personality in this profession, and if you're antisocial or something like that...well, you're not going to go very far. You're also going to get the "squirmers". You know, the people who can't sit still while you're tattooing them? You know what? SAY SOMETHING! They might not even be aware that they're moving that much! Need someone to move, so you can reach the area you're trying to tattoo easier? SAY SOMETHING!! You cannot expect them to know what YOU need them to do! If you're thinking that tattooing isn't a very physical job...you're totally wrong. It's EXTREMELY hard on your body! Those long 6-7+ hour sessions are MURDER on your body!! Your back will kill you. Your neck will be sore as hell. Your arms will be sore and tired. Your hands will hurt. Your fingers will either be numb, or killing you. Your shin and feet will be in pain from using the footswitch. You will be doing the same motions, again and again for hours. You will be twisting your body up in the most awkward positions, and staying like that for hours. Basically, your entire body will be sore and exhausted. I can't even tell you how many times I've come home from a long day, and felt like I was going to collapse on the floor as soon as I walked in my house. There ARE very important things you must do to help with this. A- Stretch!!! This is insanely important! Before you start tattooing, stretch. During the tattoo, stretch! After the tattoo...STRETCH!!! Focus on stretches that focus on the back, neck, and hands...but be sure to do full body stretches as well. B- Take a break! Now I'm not saying take a break every 15 min, but if you need a break, TAKE ONE! C- Do exercises that build up your muscle strength! Do full body workouts, and exercises that specifically focus on your core, back, and hands. D- NSAIDs are good for pain, and won't get you all twisted in the head like a narcotic. Use them if you have to, I like Motrin, but don't overuse them. Still sounding like "easy money"? It's not. Far from it. And this only covers the drawing, tattooing, and the "dealing with clients" aspects of tattooing. There's a whole lot more to it than just that. Maybe I'll go over that another time. But for now, I think I'll call it a night. You're friendly, neighborhood tattoo artist, Laura xoxo
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People don't understand that when they make an appt. with me via text/email/phone....whatever....they're not guaranteed a spot. IF I'm free at that time, I will probably hold the chair for 10 min (ex. asked for appt. @7, didn't bother to show up till 7:20.....and you're pissed because now you have to wait? Sucks). If you want ANYTHING drawn up in advance, a deposit of $40 (min, more for large pieces) should be left, and a work order form should be filled out, which includes a detailed description of what you want done, where, size, color/no color, amt. deposit left, name & phone number. The client can also book an appt. at the same time, as long as there has been a deposit left that is comparable to the amount of time I would have wasted should you decide not to show up. If you leave no deposit for a drawup, but leave a $30 deposit for an appointment, your work will NOT be drawn up in advance......BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LEAVE A DEPOSIT FOR THE WORK TO BE DONE!!!
Also, STOP ASKING FOR PRICE QUOTES VIA TEXT/EMAIL/INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PHONE!! Especially if I've never met you! I have no idea how your skin takes ink, how big your leg/neck/arm...whatever, is! I cannot give you a price without a face to face consultation. And if it's your first time coming to me, don't ask me for a "hook up". I DON'T KNOW YOU! Repeat clients often get better prices because they've proven to me that they'll continue to come back, and most of them bring me new clients. And tipping....do not even get me started on that. People will tip the person who carried their food from their car to their house, but won't tip a person who's put in hours and hours of work into something permanently on your body?? REALLY??!! In short, if there is no face to face consultation (clients from out of the area are exempt from this, but pictures & dimensions of the space you want covered must be provided), no work order filled out, no deposit left....the client should have no expectation of anything drawn up, or a guaranteed time. (Of course, I do have some exceptions to this rule....long time clients, friends, family.....etc.) I take deposits in cash, money orders, and via pay pal. A copy of the work order is ALWAYS given, as proof of receipt. I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. You don't simply walk into an OR and say, "OK, got time to do that operation for me?" If you want to book a hotel room in the Hamptons in July, you don't just show up and hope they have one open. You call ahead and reserve it by putting down a deposit! I just don't get it. So...unless you are one of the few exceptions to the rules, don't just text me with a picture and say "I want this", then when you decide to show up, you're pissed because I didn't draw anything up, and someone's in the chair. If you didn't leave a deposit, don't expect anything. This isn't a "hobby" for me, this is my career. It's how I pay my bills, feed my kids, and live! I wouldn't ask you to work for free? Why should you do that to me? Little side note:
This isn't directed at anyone specifically. Just saying. If You Do Anything of These Things While Driving...I'm the One Losing My Mind Behind You!!!!1/11/2013 Well hello there!!!! Long time no blog...I know, life's been hectic. I missed you! Let's get down to business. If you drive a car, then you've probably been stuck behind some ass-clown who has done (or ALL) of these things that make you want to LOSE YOUR ENTIRE MIND!!!!! Yes we're also guilty of doing some of these things too...nobody's perfect, but most of us don't do this crap on a regular basis. Soooooo, without further ado, here we go. THIS MYSTICAL SYMBOL ON THE DASHBOARD IS CALLED A GODDAMN TURN SIGNAL!!!!! This is PROBABLY the most annoying thing that people do (or I should say DON'T DO!). Why? Why would you not use your turn signal when you're turning???? WHY!?!?? It is NOT difficult to use. In the example picture, the driver is making a right turn/merge. By hitting the turn signal, he is letting other drivers around him that he will be turning/merging right. Apparently this is a such a complicated thing to grasp, because 75% of the time, there is MANY people who I'm driving behind who can't seem to understand how to use this magical handle on the side of their steering wheel. FOR FUCK'S SAKE PEOPLE! YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST BUMP IT UP/DOWN WITH THE SIDE OF YOU HAND!!! IT IS NOT A DIFFICULT PROCESS!!! If you're making a right, push it UP! If you're making a left, push it DOWN!!! I cannot even begin to ESTIMATE how many times someone in front of me either slammed on their brakes to turn, or just cut me off...WITHOUT SIGNALING! The whole point is to prevent accidents. I do NOT want to rear end someone because they couldn't be bothered to use their signal (and I almost have MANY times!).You don't even have to worry about turing it off!! It will shut off by itself after you make the turn! (You DO have to turn it off if you've merged...) While I'm on the subject of turn signals...WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH PEOPLE PUTTING THEIR DIRECTIONAL, LIKE A 5 MILES BEFORE THEY NEED TO TURN????!!! That's ALMOST as bad as not using them at all!!! I still have NO idea when (or IF) you're actually going to make that turn!!! Stop it!!! Just stop it right now! This one make me ABSOLUTELY insane. If you're driving in a 45mph zone, WHY ARE YOU GOING 30MPH??!!!? I cannot stand this. I feel like i going to lose my ENTIRE MIND when this happens!!!! WHY???? Do you NOT have to be somewhere on time? Do you NOT give 2 shits if the person behind you it running late, or just has to pee really REALLY bad, or WHATEVER!!! There is no need to be going 15mph UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT!!! Especially on main roads, and DEFINITELY not in the middle of the night when the person behind you just tattooed for 9 hours straight, is dead tired, in a shitty mood, and just wants to get her ass home and go to sleep!!! Trust me when I say that there have been MULTIPLE times this happened to me, and I gave serious thought to following them to their destination, and CURSING THEM THE FUCK OUT!!! It's just madness. Another thing with the whole "speed" thing is, WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO RIDE UP MY BUMPER WHEN I'M ALREADY GOING A DECENT SPEED! If the speed limit is 45mph, and I'm going 55mph....THERE IS NO NEED TO BE UP MY ASS!!! GET OFF ME!!! I will slam on my breaks for no reason whatsoever, causing you to rear-end me. You better have some damn good insurance!! Because you're buying me a new car!! Ok, when you get to a four-way stop sign, and there are other cars at one, or ALL of the other three stop signs....LEARN THE RULES TO THIS!!! They're NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!! Whoever gets to the intersection first, GOES FIRST!!! If you all show up at the same time, the person farthest to the right goes first. You had to know this at one point in time, if you have your license. IT'S ON THE GODDAMN TEST!!!! These same rules apply to a three-way stop sign. So stop giving me evil looks if I get to an intersection before you, stop, and go. I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!! This is the last one. I promise. It's also the one that pisses me off the most. You see that little symbol on the left? That means that your high beams are on. When you are using your high beams, and either approaching an oncoming car, or someone is about to pass you on the highway...TURN THEM OFF!!!!! I have been blinded a gazillion times because people have no sense to turn them off! Just tonight on my way home, it happened to me TWICE! The second time, I almost drove right off the road. It's just common courtesy. If I'm driving behind you on the highway, and start passing you, and you have your high beams on, and you don't turn them off, I WILL slow down and drive right next to the rear of your car, blasting you with mine. So you get pissed off? GOOD!!! That's the whole point!!! Your regular lights aren't bright enough for you to see at night? Then you need to get them switched out because I sure as shit don't want your brights blinding me. YOU HAVE ALREADY PISSED ME OFF!!! That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, or eat ramen noodles, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just love kittens! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not.
I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! You can find me on twitter: www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Or the book of faces: www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick So I'm messing around on Instagram. Love that friggin app. But anyway, I make a comment, and some fucking jackoff gets all over sensitive, and apparently thinks that I'm talking directly to them (how could I?! I don't fucking know you!!), and feels the need to say something stupid like:
"That's really not cool/funny to say that. I'm insulted. Wah wah wah!!!" (Ok, at the end, I was just picturing them crying) WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THAT COMMENTS MADE ON PICTURES OR POSTS, THAT THEY DIDN'T PUT UP, ARE DIRECTED AT THEM?!!!!??!! Am I the only one who gets confused by this?? If I don't fucking know you, and I'm commenting on someone else's shit, how in the fuck am I talking to you??? Someone explain this to me? It's especially confusing when the person who decides that they want to start a bitch fight with me (Which they will NEVER win! I'm not really a bitch...I can be if the situation calls for it....but in these situations, I just find it hilarious!), doesn't know the person who's picture/post I commented on in the first place!!! Like they feel the need to be the fuckin sentinel of the Internet....standing up for people who gets deragotory comments on their shit. (Would make a pretty lame, but relevant superhero. Internet Watch Man! Protecting the threads of random people for no reason what so ever...on the Internet. Basically a guy, in a cape, at a computer....pretty lame). The whole point to this is this: CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! If you don't like what someone has to say, and you're truly offended by it.....maybe you need to look at yourself for a minute. Maybe you're a little hypersensitive? Work on that. Maybe you need to get a sense of humor? DEFINITELY work on that. Or maybe, especially if the thread/photo could definitely lead to disagreement.....DON'T READ THE COMMENTS!!!! On the other side of the coin, if you actually LIKE getting into "comment arguments" with other people...GO AHEAD! It's hilarious! Now, I do understand that sometimes people who post racist comments, ignorant comments, just plain stupid comments, etc., might need to be educated that that is NOT OK! But, in the end, you've just gotten yourself all pissed off at someone you don't know....and they probably didn't even learn anything. I'm guilty of that crap myself. Like if someone puts a post up like: "Did you hear about the guy who got shot in Bellport the other day? Crazy, smh" And some ignorant ass fuck comments something like: "You know it must have been a (insert offensive racial slur here)" Then yes, I'm gonna attack the shit outta this cock hole!!!! So yes, I am totally guilty of this too, but none of my comments are EVER racist, ignorant, etc., because I am neither racist or ignorant! So let me know if this has ever happened to you. I cannot be the only one. Da da da DAAAHHHH!!! Internet Watch Man, AWAY!!! (As he glides across the floor in an office chair!) That's all I got this time! Please follow my blog if I made you think, or laugh, or eat ramen noodles, or ANYTHING....and feel free to comment if you agree, or disagree, or just love kittens! I'm not here to judge you! But I do have an opinion on a LOT of things, and if you can help me understand yours, in a logical and reasonable fashion....you might just change my mind! But probably not. I love you, and I hope you have a glorious day! You can find me on twitter: www.twitter.com/nytatt2chick Or the book of faces: www.facebook.com/nytatt2chick |
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